The psychologist had said there was guilt but she wasn't so sure. One of her lecturers had said to always be suspicious of simple answers to complex questions. If a shell lets nothing out, how can you be sure if it's full or empty? But she didn't want to think that. There was too much of him for it to be empty and guilt was too easy an answer. And if he did decide "yes" that would be it and her life would have changed, and if she ever wanted the old one back it would be a hell of a difficult job. They were approaching another landmark and her mother was pointing it out nostalgically. She began to wonder what she'd do if he did say "Game On". That would be so risky. Or if he didn't. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to bear that.As I walked up Castellana the next morning, I felt better than I had any right to. Maybe I was healing; maybe it was the pleasure of being out and about; maybe, guiltily, it was because I was going to be by myself for two weeks. Maybe it's because you're not. Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it.”“Oh, I do,” Lisa replied, stepping away and standing on her own. “But I like to be in control of when I do it.”“Don’t we all!” Elaine grinned. “But you’ll be fine. I’m glad to hear you’re training others to control the fire. It’s lonely being the only one of your kind.”Béla and Lisa were hugging now, tears of regret in the mother’s eyes. “I believed ill of you, Lisa, and I’m deeply sorry. I put myself at your disposal, casting aside my status as Carte Blanche so that you may discipline me as you require.”“Mother,” Lisa whined. “Don’t do that! I just want you to trust me. Jeez!”“As you command,” Béla replied, dead serious. “I trust you. With all of our lives.”“Praetor, record this judgement,” Elaine called into the air, hoping to end this sad soap opera and get on with the festivities.‘This judgement is recorded in history,’ the Praetor replied in all their minds.‘Just incidentally,’ Elaine privately asked the Praetor, ‘A ‘Carte Blanche’ has submitted.
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